Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
