i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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