please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When did angry sex become our thing?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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