We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
