Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
