she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
