Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
