Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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