I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
