we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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