so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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