Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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