You're my little dorito
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
