Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
