He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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