I just made out with a guy for $7.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize