please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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