Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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