Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
