we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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