i would punch a child for taco bell
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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