Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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