You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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