oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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