What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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