My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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