So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
