the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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