at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
