Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
