Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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