I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize