I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
