HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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