i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
