1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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