Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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