I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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