just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
