Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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