I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I need moral support for this bender
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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