I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize