I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
