i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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