so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
