We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
