Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize