found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
