Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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