I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize