So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize