If i come over, it means nothing
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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