ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize