Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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