my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
