put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
