You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
